Diggin' Ditches . . .

It's been a while since my last post.  It amazes me how fast time goes . . . especially summer.  It doesn't seem to go that fast in the winter living in Minnesota!  But, I've been "diggin' ditches," so I've been busy.

Last year I went to the 2011 Leadership Summit (so good that I'm attending the 2012 Summit and can't wait!) and there was a speaker there named Steven Furtick who talked about digging ditches.  I just recently had the chance to see that speech again and it really helped me to understand and remind me what all the hard work is for.  In his speech, Steven talked about how each thing we do and each thing we overcome that is helping us move towards our goals is "digging a ditch."  Coming from being a life coach, it's a great metaphor and visualization for what we do each week when we set goals to move towards what we want to achieve.

At the heart of Furtick's speech, what he said made so much sense.  That we spend our time comparing ourselves to other people's "highlight reels!"  Isn't that the truth?  We see people who are at the top of their game, have achieved what we want to achieve or the status that we want -- but all we think about is them at the top.  We never saw their "behind the scenes -- their digging ditches," and we don't know how long it took them to dig their ditches to get to where they are.  For some reason, we think that it came easy to them because they are rich, beautiful, know people, lucky (insert whatever excuse or reason you want).  We always think that we could never do that because we don't have what they have.  Don't believe it.  We all have the capability to achieve whatever we want to achieve, it's just up to how many ditches you are willing to dig to get there.  A lot of times, we start digging ditches but become frustrated and tired so we quit . . . and maybe quitting just before we've reached our highlight reel!  But you will never know for that reason . . . you gave up on the ditch digging and thought that it was easier to stay in that job you don't like, never start that business you wanted to, never go back to school -- or whatever it is you want to achieve.

Another speaker at the Leadership Summit last year was Seth Godin.  He wrote a book called "The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When To Quit (And When To Stick)."  His argument is that we often quit the wrong things at the wrong times, and getting better at seeing what matters can transform you.  It's a quick and easy read but a great help if you need to make a decision whether to quit or stick it out.  You may be in a cul-de-sac or you just might be right on the verge on making it!

I know for myself, I'll keep digging ditches.  And then, when I reach that goal, I'll start digging more ditches to get to my next goal.  It doesn't mean that the goal may not change or get readjusted along the way, but there will always be something I'm striving for to better myself whether it's a small or lofty goal.

So, here's to you to either keep digging your ditches or to start digging them!  And, quit comparing yourself to other people's highlight reels!  Believe me, they were sure to have dug their own ditches to get there.  Stay focused and in your own lane, eyes forward on your own goals!


"When the world says "give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." 
Author Uknown

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
Albert Einstein

"Don't be discouraged.  It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock."
Author Unknown

"Why compare yourself with others?  No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you."
Uknown

Love and peace . . .

Tracey

You've Always Had The Power . . .

I had an "aha" moment last week.  I finally realized that I believe in me!  And in that realization, everything makes sense and now I feel like there's no turning back or nothing holding me back.  It's amazing that you can have people tell you how much they believe in you . . . but until you believe in yourself, it doesn't really sink in how when you finally believe in you, you never really realize how much power you have over your own life.

Situations have come up for me lately where other people have put their opinions on me and in the past I've always tried to please everyone or just stay silent to keep the peace.  But, this time I politely have just removed myself from those situations and being around those people.  I realized that I had to power to remove myself and not make them wrong to make me right . . . and that has been empowering.

Did you ever stop to notice how encouraging and forgiving you can be for other people but when it comes to yourself, you have this negative tape replaying over and over in your head that either you can't do something, you don't have the talent to do something or your not lovable enough to have anyone care for you.  You're always too -- too fat, too skinny, too dumb, too poor, too lazy, too ugly, too, too, too.  The replaying of that tape always stops us from thinking we can do anything so we don't even try.  It's a self fulfilling prophecy!  Like Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."  We manifest our thoughts . . . wouldn't you rather manifest positive things instead of negative things in your life?

What if you threw that negative tape you have replaying in your head out?  What if every time something negative came into your head you stopped and tried to reframe it to replace it with a positive thought?  Just like anything, it takes practice but it gets easier and easier and pretty soon you'll get really good at it.  But, only you have the power to change your thoughts about yourself and what you believe you can do.

Having my "aha" moment this week had reminded me about The Wizard of Oz movie and what happened at the end of Dorothy's journey of trying to find her way home.  Dorothy asks Glinda the Good Witch if she can help her go home and Glinda tells her that she doesn't need to be helped any longer because she always had the power to go back to Kansas.  The Scarecrow asks Glinda why she didn't tell Dorothy before and Glinda says, "Because she wouldn't have believed me.  She had to learn it for herself."

Here's their conversation about finding home:

Glinda:  Well, Dorothy, you were wise and good enough to help your friends to come here and find what was inside them all the time.  That's true for you also.

Dorothy:  Home?  Inside of me?  I don't understand.

Glinda:  Home is a place we all must find, child.  It's not just a place where you eat or sleep.  Home is knowing.  Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage.  If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere.

Dorothy ends the movie with:

". . . and if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard because, if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."

Stop waiting for someone to save you, fix you or help you.  You are the only one responsible for you.

You've always had the power . . . but you have to learn it for yourself.

Quotes:

"To acquire true self power you have to feel beneath no one, be immune to criticism and be fearless."  Deepak Chopra

"Once you understand how powerful you are within, you exponentially increase the power and potentiality of everything outside of you."
Steve Maraboli

"Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear."
Anthony Robbins

Love and Happiness,

Tracey

Quit Sitting On The Bank And Get Into The River

It's funny how things come along that make you grow.  For my life coaching school, we were encouraged to write a blog.  I had never done it before and was afraid that no one would care what I had to say but I figured I'd just do it and see what happened.  I started writing about life things, things that I was learning about myself while going through school that I knew others were probably feeling.  I remember my first blog.  I wrote it in twenty minutes, read it over and published it just to get it over with and out there before I stopped myself from deleting it and not going through with it -- kind of like ripping a band aid off just to get the pain over with quicker.  Anyone ever do anything that way -- you just do it just to get it over with because of the fear?  And a funny thing usually happens . . . it's never as bad as you expected!  In fact, I had someone tell me that they were starting something and they said "well I'll just read Tracey's blog to get inspiration."  Talk about shock, flattery and validation all at the same time.  And what I've really found out is that we all have something to say that can contribute to others, especially if we are speaking from our heart.  It's usually fear that holds us back from doing it.

An interesting thing happened today.  I was doing my last class today to graduate for my certification for life coaching.  The class was a coaching practicum where two people on the class step forward to be the coach and two step forward to be the client so we can get practice coaching each other in a safe environment.  I figured since it was my last class that I would step out and be a coach.  I remember the first time I stepped out to be a coach, I was so nervous, thinking I would screw it up and there were twenty other people on the call listening to me screw up!  And, again, when I was done, all I received was positive feedback.  Each time I gained more and more confidence to step out which leads me to today when, even though I have some sort of hesitation because I never know what subject is going to come up, I know that if I just trust the process that it will all be fine.  

My client wanted to talk about fear . . . fear about leaving a job she already loves but moving towards following her passions for coaching and other creative outlets to make a living.  It was interesting because I had just completed a twelve page paper on fear and how it holds us back from following our dreams.  The first part of the session was heavy with her focusing on her fears. And then I asked her to tell me about the life she sees in the future, having followed her passions and telling me what that life was like.  The mood lightened, I could tell she was smiling and she was there!  Feeling what it was like to be there, living her dream and living her passions.  She had reframed her perspective to what it was like to be there.  Then I asked her what she had to lose?  And she said "nothing."  Perfect. Exactly.  Nothing.  We have nothing to lose but only to gain by following our dreams and our passions!

Our passions are given to each and every one of us for a purpose.  Our purpose.  The reason why we are here.  I wonder, are we more afraid of trying to live our passions and our purpose or are we more afraid of not following them and coming to the end of our lives and wondering . . . if only I had.

We are also given fear for a purpose.  Fear makes us stop to check ourselves to see if we making a right decision or not.  The thing is, a lot of the fears we have are imagined fear.  Imminent fear is fear that is happening right now, like running into a bear and fearing for our lives.  Imagined fear is something in the future that may or may not happen, but feeling like it's happening at this moment. Imagined fear can stop us from following our passions.  So, ask yourself, what do you want to do but are afraid of?  Is it real or imagined?  What do you have to lose by doing what you fear?  A lot of times, if we do what we're afraid of, it never ends up as bad as we imagined.  If anything, it usually ends up that it was a positive experience and that gives us confidence to keep moving forward taking the next steps to our goals.  Just like me posting my blog or stepping out to coach.  

That leads me to sitting on the bank or jumping into the river.  Interesting how when you're thinking of something, signs show up to give you answers.  I had a day filled with anxiety this week.  I have let go of a lot of jobs and people that I knew weren't right for me anymore.  It was safe, but I knew it wasn't right.  Tonight at church the sermon was about "sitting on the bank or getting into the river."  When we sit on the bank, it's safe, we know what's going to happen . . . but we aren't really living.  Getting into the river is scary,  it creates fear, we don't know what's going to happen, we run into trouble and we come up against a lot of things we don't want to face . . . but it means we are actually living!  Creating the life you want will be challenging, bringing resistance from people that want you to stay the same and not change . . . but if we aren't changing and growing, are we really living?  So, ask yourself?  Are you sitting on the bank or are you getting into the river?  If you're sitting on the bank, can you take the first step to at least dip your toe in the river and move toward immersing yourself in it?  What I do know is that at the end of your life, if you  just sit on the bank, you'll always regret it.  You'll come to the end of your life and say to yourself . . . if only I had.  Don't be that person.

"Every man dies, but not every man REALLY lives."  William Wallace

"It's hard to fail, but it's worse never to have tried to succeed."  Theodore Roosevelt

"I failed my way to success."  Thomas Edison

Wishing you a life filled with following your passions and not finding yourself at the end of your life saying . . . I wish I had . . .

Tracey