Wednesday, July 4, 2012

What Does Independence Day Mean To You?


Happy 4th of July!  Independence Day!  We celebrate with fireworks and parties.  Here in Minnesota it’s actually warm so we are usually grilling and out on the lakes celebrating our independence from the cold weather for at least another three months.  But have you ever really, really ever pondered what true freedom means for you?  Do you feel shackled in the situation you are in now and need to declare your own “Independence Day?” 

What is it that you want to declare your independence for?  Do you feel trapped or uncomfortable in your  body?  Are you in a relationship that has zapped you of your independence?  Is it an addiction you are shackled to?  Your job?  What is it in your life that you need to declare your independence from?

Most of us haven’t read the whole decree of the Declaration of Independence.  The one thing we do remember is the statement from it, “. . . that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their CREATOR with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.”  These are your Rights.  Have you found your own Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of your own Happiness?  What is your Life like?  What makes you feel Liberated?  And most of all, have you pursued your own Happiness

What I know and what I keep realizing in doing life coaching is that the opinions of others may be well intentioned, but most of us don’t want to tell other people our dreams or our plans, for fear of others negating them – or having their own opinions about them (solicited or not).  I’m hopeful that most opinions of others are well intentioned, but usually miss the mark because of their own fears.

I have to admit that one of my personal (kind of embarrassing) indulgences is watching some reality TV.  I have been watching this show called “Miss Advised.”  It’s about a successful Matchmaker in New York, a Sex Columnist in New York and a Dating “Expert” in California.  What I have found amazing about this show (and disheartening) is that these people put themselves out as “experts,” telling people how to find love and having STRICT rules (when none of them are actually in a committed relationship themselves).  Here are some of the rules:  Don’t accept a date when they call the same day to ask to go out that evening, don’t call them after the date, wait for them to call you, don’t go out with anyone that doesn’t fit your “list.”  And, in actuality, all have broken every single rule themselves!  But what does make me optimistic about watching this show is that we all have the same habits.  Trying to tell someone what would be best for them but never following our own advice.

I love this quote from Dr. Wayne Dwyer, “Opinions are like armpits.  We all have them but most of them stink.” 

So, can you start working towards finding your independence in the area that you need to?  And doing this knowing that you don’t need others opinions to decide what you need to do?  I’ve talked about it before, but we all have a “gut” instinct about what is right or wrong for ourselves.  These feelings are based on our own, individual Core Values.  What someone else says they would put up with, may not be what you would.  What others say they would resolve themselves to, shouldn’t be what you do if you don’t feel it is right for you.  Follow your instincts and your heart.  And if those “well meaning” people can’t support you in your journey to your independence, then maybe it’s time to let them go in a loving way and find people that you have in your life or new people who are going to be supportive to help you with your journey towards independence. 

So, today is the day to declare your independence from what is holding you back!  You’re job is to decide what that is for you and to start taking steps to move towards gaining that independence back.  You’re journey starts . . . NOW!

“Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.”  Thomas Paine

“Being happy doesn’t mean your perfect.  It just means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”  Unknown

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.  I can choose which it shall be.  Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet.  I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”  Groucho Marx

Love, Happiness and INDEPENDENCE . . .

Tracey


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