Become Part of the Solution Instead of Part of the Problem . . .

“For everyone who much is given, of him shall much be required.”  Luke 12:48

When I went on my mission trip to Dulac, Louisiana in October of 2009, we had to come up with a verse that was our mission statement and this is the one we chose.  I never really thought much of it before leaving . . . but it had a whole new meaning when I returned from seeing the devastation that Louisiana was still left in years after Katrina with no more government help being offered. 

My thoughts before leaving on my first mission trip (my second was to Minagua, Nicaragua in September 2010), was that I was going to go in and help all of these people and, my, how grateful they would be!  I had visions of holding children and feeling somewhat “superior” because we were coming to “save” them.  Looking back, it sounds so egotistical, but if I’m being truthful (and vulnerable – which I’ve been working on), that’s exactly what I thought.  Little did I realize that even among the devastation that they were living in, they were the ones who gave me more than I could have ever hoped to give them.  I actually felt small compared to them. 

Our group of around 16 was broken up into 3 separate groups to help three different homes.  The group that I was on was to side a house and help in cleanup for a couple in their 60s – Ed and Helen.  I remember the first day after we said a prayer, Ed said to us, “I’m am really grateful for all of you coming to help us, but I want to let you know that even if you didn’t come, we are happy and grateful for everything that we have and have been given.”  And, I can tell you, he truly meant every word he said.  I wondered to myself if I would be that grateful if I was living in that house having to endure all that they had been through.  This leads me to my discussion for this blog.

I’ve been talking with a lot of people lately who are in a lot of pain in life.  I myself am going through some transformation in my life trying to figure everything out.  On top of our own pain, we are bombarded with nasty election campaigns, Aurora, Colorado, Syria, the wars in the middle east still and local tragedies.  How do we make any sense of all of this and how could we possibly find a sense of being grateful out of it?  I can tell you . . . its how we choose to process it and then figure out what we can do to help in our own corner of the world is where we will find gratefulness.  Instead of sitting on the couch complaining about what you think should be changed, why don’t you DO something about it to make it better?  I’ll give you a suggestion . . .

BECOME PART OF THE SOLUTION INSTEAD OF PART OF THE PROBLEM.

I always find it intriguing that people can post things on Facebook about the “wrongs” of their opposing party, can tell you in a conversation what’s “wrong” with your party and what’s right with theirs but yet it’s still all rhetoric . . . it’s no part of a solution to what they want to change.  Take the time that you post, spend on Facebook or try and persuade someone to believe what you believe (after all, that is what is great about this Country – the United States of America – is that it is a democracy and that each and every one of us has a choice in who we feel we believe our leader should be), and get out there and join a caucus or run for a local seat or office.  We all have freedom of speech, and I truly believe in that – it’s how I can write this blog.  But, unless you actually take action to change what you want to, then how can you complain? 

There are so many other ways to help people to become part of the solution helping globally or locally.  To support the troops in the middle east, adopt a soldier or a troop to support.  You can get a soldier to adopt from Soldier’s Angels at http://www.soldiersangels.org/.   Or, you can donate cups of coffee to the soldiers overseas at Green Beans Coffee (Cup of Joe) at http://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coj/.  If you want to help feed starving children in other countries you can serve at your local outlet for Feed My Starving Children at http://www.fmsc.org/.  Locally, you can help shelters like Simpson Housing at http://www.simpsonhousing.org/.  If you can’t serve, you can donate to them.  Whatever you are passionate about, believe me, there’s a place that you can find to help in donating your time or money.  I’ve served or given to all four of these and I’ve found that I’ve received much more in return than I ever gave to them – I receive gratefulness that I have what I have and that I can serve and donate. 

So, here’s my challenge to you.  Next time you just want to tell someone what should be changed in your area or in the world, instead of just talking about it . . . what can you tell someone you did to make it better?  I would love to hear about it! 

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”  Mother Teresa

“Not all of us can do great things.  But we can all do small things with great love.”  Mother Teresa   

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

Mother Teresa

Wishing you a life of love and gratefulness . . .

Tracey

What Does Independence Day Mean To You?

Happy 4^th of July!  Independence Day!  We celebrate with fireworks and parties.  Here in Minnesota it’s actually warm so we are usually grilling and out on the lakes celebrating our independence from the cold weather for at least another three months.  But have you ever really, really ever pondered what true freedom means for you?  Do you feel shackled in the situation you are in now and need to declare your own “Independence Day?” 

What is it that you want to declare your independence for?  Do you feel trapped or uncomfortable in your  body?  Are you in a relationship that has zapped you of your independence?  Is it an addiction you are shackled to?  Your job?  What is it in your life that you need to declare your independence from?

Most of us haven’t read the whole decree of the Declaration of Independence.  The one thing we do remember is the statement from it, “. . . that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their CREATOR with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.”  These are your Rights.  Have you found your own Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of your own Happiness?  What is your Life like?  What makes you feel Liberated?  And most of all, have you pursued your own Happiness? 

What I know and what I keep realizing in doing life coaching is that the opinions of others may be well intentioned, but most of us don’t want to tell other people our dreams or our plans, for fear of others negating them – or having their own opinions about them (solicited or not).  I’m hopeful that most opinions of others are well intentioned, but usually miss the mark because of their own fears.

I have to admit that one of my personal (kind of embarrassing) indulgences is watching some reality TV.  I have been watching this show called “Miss Advised.”  It’s about a successful Matchmaker in New York, a Sex Columnist in New York and a Dating “Expert” in California.  What I have found amazing about this show (and disheartening) is that these people put themselves out as “experts,” telling people how to find love and having STRICT rules (when none of them are actually in a committed relationship themselves).  Here are some of the rules:  Don’t accept a date when they call the same day to ask to go out that evening, don’t call them after the date, wait for them to call you, don’t go out with anyone that doesn’t fit your “list.”  And, in actuality, all have broken every single rule themselves!  But what does make me optimistic about watching this show is that we all have the same habits.  Trying to tell someone what would be best for them but never following our own advice.

I love this quote from Dr. Wayne Dwyer, “Opinions are like armpits.  We all have them but most of them stink.” 

So, can you start working towards finding your independence in the area that you need to?  And doing this knowing that you don’t need others opinions to decide what you need to do?  I’ve talked about it before, but we all have a “gut” instinct about what is right or wrong for ourselves.  These feelings are based on our own, individual Core Values.  What someone else says they would put up with, may not be what you would.  What others say they would resolve themselves to, shouldn’t be what you do if you don’t feel it is right for you.  Follow your instincts and your heart.  And if those “well meaning” people can’t support you in your journey to your independence, then maybe it’s time to let them go in a loving way and find people that you have in your life or new people who are going to be supportive to help you with your journey towards independence. 

So, today is the day to declare your independence from what is holding you back!  You’re job is to decide what that is for you and to start taking steps to move towards gaining that independence back.  You’re journey starts . . . NOW!

“Independence is my happiness, and I view things as they are, without regard to place or person; my country is the world, and my religion is to do good.”  Thomas Paine

“Being happy doesn’t mean your perfect.  It just means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.”  Unknown

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.  I can choose which it shall be.  Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet.  I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”  Groucho Marx

Love, Happiness and INDEPENDENCE . . .

Tracey

Diggin' Ditches . . .

It's been a while since my last post.  It amazes me how fast time goes . . . especially summer.  It doesn't seem to go that fast in the winter living in Minnesota!  But, I've been "diggin' ditches," so I've been busy.

Last year I went to the 2011 Leadership Summit (so good that I'm attending the 2012 Summit and can't wait!) and there was a speaker there named Steven Furtick who talked about digging ditches.  I just recently had the chance to see that speech again and it really helped me to understand and remind me what all the hard work is for.  In his speech, Steven talked about how each thing we do and each thing we overcome that is helping us move towards our goals is "digging a ditch."  Coming from being a life coach, it's a great metaphor and visualization for what we do each week when we set goals to move towards what we want to achieve.

At the heart of Furtick's speech, what he said made so much sense.  That we spend our time comparing ourselves to other people's "highlight reels!"  Isn't that the truth?  We see people who are at the top of their game, have achieved what we want to achieve or the status that we want -- but all we think about is them at the top.  We never saw their "behind the scenes -- their digging ditches," and we don't know how long it took them to dig their ditches to get to where they are.  For some reason, we think that it came easy to them because they are rich, beautiful, know people, lucky (insert whatever excuse or reason you want).  We always think that we could never do that because we don't have what they have.  Don't believe it.  We all have the capability to achieve whatever we want to achieve, it's just up to how many ditches you are willing to dig to get there.  A lot of times, we start digging ditches but become frustrated and tired so we quit . . . and maybe quitting just before we've reached our highlight reel!  But you will never know for that reason . . . you gave up on the ditch digging and thought that it was easier to stay in that job you don't like, never start that business you wanted to, never go back to school -- or whatever it is you want to achieve.

Another speaker at the Leadership Summit last year was Seth Godin.  He wrote a book called "The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When To Quit (And When To Stick)."  His argument is that we often quit the wrong things at the wrong times, and getting better at seeing what matters can transform you.  It's a quick and easy read but a great help if you need to make a decision whether to quit or stick it out.  You may be in a cul-de-sac or you just might be right on the verge on making it!

I know for myself, I'll keep digging ditches.  And then, when I reach that goal, I'll start digging more ditches to get to my next goal.  It doesn't mean that the goal may not change or get readjusted along the way, but there will always be something I'm striving for to better myself whether it's a small or lofty goal.

So, here's to you to either keep digging your ditches or to start digging them!  And, quit comparing yourself to other people's highlight reels!  Believe me, they were sure to have dug their own ditches to get there.  Stay focused and in your own lane, eyes forward on your own goals!


"When the world says "give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." 
Author Uknown

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
Albert Einstein

"Don't be discouraged.  It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock."
Author Unknown

"Why compare yourself with others?  No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you."
Uknown

Love and peace . . .

Tracey

You've Always Had The Power . . .

I had an "aha" moment last week.  I finally realized that I believe in me!  And in that realization, everything makes sense and now I feel like there's no turning back or nothing holding me back.  It's amazing that you can have people tell you how much they believe in you . . . but until you believe in yourself, it doesn't really sink in how when you finally believe in you, you never really realize how much power you have over your own life.

Situations have come up for me lately where other people have put their opinions on me and in the past I've always tried to please everyone or just stay silent to keep the peace.  But, this time I politely have just removed myself from those situations and being around those people.  I realized that I had to power to remove myself and not make them wrong to make me right . . . and that has been empowering.

Did you ever stop to notice how encouraging and forgiving you can be for other people but when it comes to yourself, you have this negative tape replaying over and over in your head that either you can't do something, you don't have the talent to do something or your not lovable enough to have anyone care for you.  You're always too -- too fat, too skinny, too dumb, too poor, too lazy, too ugly, too, too, too.  The replaying of that tape always stops us from thinking we can do anything so we don't even try.  It's a self fulfilling prophecy!  Like Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."  We manifest our thoughts . . . wouldn't you rather manifest positive things instead of negative things in your life?

What if you threw that negative tape you have replaying in your head out?  What if every time something negative came into your head you stopped and tried to reframe it to replace it with a positive thought?  Just like anything, it takes practice but it gets easier and easier and pretty soon you'll get really good at it.  But, only you have the power to change your thoughts about yourself and what you believe you can do.

Having my "aha" moment this week had reminded me about The Wizard of Oz movie and what happened at the end of Dorothy's journey of trying to find her way home.  Dorothy asks Glinda the Good Witch if she can help her go home and Glinda tells her that she doesn't need to be helped any longer because she always had the power to go back to Kansas.  The Scarecrow asks Glinda why she didn't tell Dorothy before and Glinda says, "Because she wouldn't have believed me.  She had to learn it for herself."

Here's their conversation about finding home:

Glinda:  Well, Dorothy, you were wise and good enough to help your friends to come here and find what was inside them all the time.  That's true for you also.

Dorothy:  Home?  Inside of me?  I don't understand.

Glinda:  Home is a place we all must find, child.  It's not just a place where you eat or sleep.  Home is knowing.  Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage.  If we know ourselves, we're always home, anywhere.

Dorothy ends the movie with:

". . . and if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard because, if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."

Stop waiting for someone to save you, fix you or help you.  You are the only one responsible for you.

You've always had the power . . . but you have to learn it for yourself.

Quotes:

"To acquire true self power you have to feel beneath no one, be immune to criticism and be fearless."  Deepak Chopra

"Once you understand how powerful you are within, you exponentially increase the power and potentiality of everything outside of you."
Steve Maraboli

"Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear."
Anthony Robbins

Love and Happiness,

Tracey

Quit Sitting On The Bank And Get Into The River

It's funny how things come along that make you grow.  For my life coaching school, we were encouraged to write a blog.  I had never done it before and was afraid that no one would care what I had to say but I figured I'd just do it and see what happened.  I started writing about life things, things that I was learning about myself while going through school that I knew others were probably feeling.  I remember my first blog.  I wrote it in twenty minutes, read it over and published it just to get it over with and out there before I stopped myself from deleting it and not going through with it -- kind of like ripping a band aid off just to get the pain over with quicker.  Anyone ever do anything that way -- you just do it just to get it over with because of the fear?  And a funny thing usually happens . . . it's never as bad as you expected!  In fact, I had someone tell me that they were starting something and they said "well I'll just read Tracey's blog to get inspiration."  Talk about shock, flattery and validation all at the same time.  And what I've really found out is that we all have something to say that can contribute to others, especially if we are speaking from our heart.  It's usually fear that holds us back from doing it.

An interesting thing happened today.  I was doing my last class today to graduate for my certification for life coaching.  The class was a coaching practicum where two people on the class step forward to be the coach and two step forward to be the client so we can get practice coaching each other in a safe environment.  I figured since it was my last class that I would step out and be a coach.  I remember the first time I stepped out to be a coach, I was so nervous, thinking I would screw it up and there were twenty other people on the call listening to me screw up!  And, again, when I was done, all I received was positive feedback.  Each time I gained more and more confidence to step out which leads me to today when, even though I have some sort of hesitation because I never know what subject is going to come up, I know that if I just trust the process that it will all be fine.  

My client wanted to talk about fear . . . fear about leaving a job she already loves but moving towards following her passions for coaching and other creative outlets to make a living.  It was interesting because I had just completed a twelve page paper on fear and how it holds us back from following our dreams.  The first part of the session was heavy with her focusing on her fears. And then I asked her to tell me about the life she sees in the future, having followed her passions and telling me what that life was like.  The mood lightened, I could tell she was smiling and she was there!  Feeling what it was like to be there, living her dream and living her passions.  She had reframed her perspective to what it was like to be there.  Then I asked her what she had to lose?  And she said "nothing."  Perfect. Exactly.  Nothing.  We have nothing to lose but only to gain by following our dreams and our passions!

Our passions are given to each and every one of us for a purpose.  Our purpose.  The reason why we are here.  I wonder, are we more afraid of trying to live our passions and our purpose or are we more afraid of not following them and coming to the end of our lives and wondering . . . if only I had.

We are also given fear for a purpose.  Fear makes us stop to check ourselves to see if we making a right decision or not.  The thing is, a lot of the fears we have are imagined fear.  Imminent fear is fear that is happening right now, like running into a bear and fearing for our lives.  Imagined fear is something in the future that may or may not happen, but feeling like it's happening at this moment. Imagined fear can stop us from following our passions.  So, ask yourself, what do you want to do but are afraid of?  Is it real or imagined?  What do you have to lose by doing what you fear?  A lot of times, if we do what we're afraid of, it never ends up as bad as we imagined.  If anything, it usually ends up that it was a positive experience and that gives us confidence to keep moving forward taking the next steps to our goals.  Just like me posting my blog or stepping out to coach.  

That leads me to sitting on the bank or jumping into the river.  Interesting how when you're thinking of something, signs show up to give you answers.  I had a day filled with anxiety this week.  I have let go of a lot of jobs and people that I knew weren't right for me anymore.  It was safe, but I knew it wasn't right.  Tonight at church the sermon was about "sitting on the bank or getting into the river."  When we sit on the bank, it's safe, we know what's going to happen . . . but we aren't really living.  Getting into the river is scary,  it creates fear, we don't know what's going to happen, we run into trouble and we come up against a lot of things we don't want to face . . . but it means we are actually living!  Creating the life you want will be challenging, bringing resistance from people that want you to stay the same and not change . . . but if we aren't changing and growing, are we really living?  So, ask yourself?  Are you sitting on the bank or are you getting into the river?  If you're sitting on the bank, can you take the first step to at least dip your toe in the river and move toward immersing yourself in it?  What I do know is that at the end of your life, if you  just sit on the bank, you'll always regret it.  You'll come to the end of your life and say to yourself . . . if only I had.  Don't be that person.

"Every man dies, but not every man REALLY lives."  William Wallace

"It's hard to fail, but it's worse never to have tried to succeed."  Theodore Roosevelt

"I failed my way to success."  Thomas Edison

Wishing you a life filled with following your passions and not finding yourself at the end of your life saying . . . I wish I had . . .

Tracey