It's funny how things come along that make you grow. For my life coaching school, we were encouraged to write a blog. I had never done it before and was afraid that no one would care what I had to say but I figured I'd just do it and see what happened. I started writing about life things, things that I was learning about myself while going through school that I knew others were probably feeling. I remember my first blog. I wrote it in twenty minutes, read it over and published it just to get it over with and out there before I stopped myself from deleting it and not going through with it -- kind of like ripping a band aid off just to get the pain over with quicker. Anyone ever do anything that way -- you just do it just to get it over with because of the fear? And a funny thing usually happens . . . it's never as bad as you expected! In fact, I had someone tell me that they were starting something and they said "well I'll just read Tracey's blog to get inspiration." Talk about shock, flattery and validation all at the same time. And what I've really found out is that we all have something to say that can contribute to others, especially if we are speaking from our heart. It's usually fear that holds us back from doing it.
An interesting thing happened today. I was doing my last class today to graduate for my certification for life coaching. The class was a coaching practicum where two people on the class step forward to be the coach and two step forward to be the client so we can get practice coaching each other in a safe environment. I figured since it was my last class that I would step out and be a coach. I remember the first time I stepped out to be a coach, I was so nervous, thinking I would screw it up and there were twenty other people on the call listening to me screw up! And, again, when I was done, all I received was positive feedback. Each time I gained more and more confidence to step out which leads me to today when, even though I have some sort of hesitation because I never know what subject is going to come up, I know that if I just trust the process that it will all be fine.
My client wanted to talk about fear . . . fear about leaving a job she already loves but moving towards following her passions for coaching and other creative outlets to make a living. It was interesting because I had just completed a twelve page paper on fear and how it holds us back from following our dreams. The first part of the session was heavy with her focusing on her fears. And then I asked her to tell me about the life she sees in the future, having followed her passions and telling me what that life was like. The mood lightened, I could tell she was smiling and she was there! Feeling what it was like to be there, living her dream and living her passions. She had reframed her perspective to what it was like to be there. Then I asked her what she had to lose? And she said "nothing." Perfect. Exactly. Nothing. We have nothing to lose but only to gain by following our dreams and our passions!
Our passions are given to each and every one of us for a purpose. Our purpose. The reason why we are here. I wonder, are we more afraid of trying to live our passions and our purpose or are we more afraid of not following them and coming to the end of our lives and wondering . . . if only I had.
We are also given fear for a purpose. Fear makes us stop to check ourselves to see if we making a right decision or not. The thing is, a lot of the fears we have are imagined fear. Imminent fear is fear that is happening right now, like running into a bear and fearing for our lives. Imagined fear is something in the future that may or may not happen, but feeling like it's happening at this moment. Imagined fear can stop us from following our passions. So, ask yourself, what do you want to do but are afraid of? Is it real or imagined? What do you have to lose by doing what you fear? A lot of times, if we do what we're afraid of, it never ends up as bad as we imagined. If anything, it usually ends up that it was a positive experience and that gives us confidence to keep moving forward taking the next steps to our goals. Just like me posting my blog or stepping out to coach.
That leads me to sitting on the bank or jumping into the river. Interesting how when you're thinking of something, signs show up to give you answers. I had a day filled with anxiety this week. I have let go of a lot of jobs and people that I knew weren't right for me anymore. It was safe, but I knew it wasn't right. Tonight at church the sermon was about "sitting on the bank or getting into the river." When we sit on the bank, it's safe, we know what's going to happen . . . but we aren't really living. Getting into the river is scary, it creates fear, we don't know what's going to happen, we run into trouble and we come up against a lot of things we don't want to face . . . but it means we are actually living! Creating the life you want will be challenging, bringing resistance from people that want you to stay the same and not change . . . but if we aren't changing and growing, are we really living? So, ask yourself? Are you sitting on the bank or are you getting into the river? If you're sitting on the bank, can you take the first step to at least dip your toe in the river and move toward immersing yourself in it? What I do know is that at the end of your life, if you just sit on the bank, you'll always regret it. You'll come to the end of your life and say to yourself . . . if only I had. Don't be that person.
"Every man dies, but not every man REALLY lives." William Wallace
"It's hard to fail, but it's worse never to have tried to succeed." Theodore Roosevelt
"I failed my way to success." Thomas Edison
Wishing you a life filled with following your passions and not finding yourself at the end of your life saying . . . I wish I had . . .
Tracey
